Narrative#1 - revised

Last Saturday on the plane from Dominican Republic to New York, I noticed the seatbelt sign flickered nonstop and the video screen flashed with orange lines.
When the plane sped up for take off, distant buildings whooshed across the window. The overhead compartments shook loudly, making me unusually nervous. All of a sudden, the plane stopped as if the captain stepped on the brake. My whole body flew forward. The plane shook violently. The captain had to let go of the brake and stepped on it again until the plane stopped. Like everyone else on the plane, I was in shock. There was dead silence until the captain reported the plane needed check up. Passengers behind me began arguing. One man preached that God wanted to take us. Many disagreed in anger. A few screamed about not wanting to die. Babies were crying. Others tried to stop the outbreak, but were unsuccessful. All the noises and people surrounding me felt so surreal.
After an hour of chaos, the captain announced the plane is in good condition. We finally took off and landed safely in New York. I am just glad I will not be taking another flight anytime soon.

Narrative#1 - 1st draft

As my dad and I got to our seats on the plane back to New York from Dominican Republic last Saturday, I realized that the seatbelt sign in front of my seat flickered non-stop. When the safety instruction video played, the screen suddenly flickered with orange lines, reminding me of the movie “Final Destination 2”. While the plane began collecting speed for take off, the overhead compartments quaked loudly. Even though the noises and shakiness of the ride was unnerving, the full speed pushing me back into the seats calmed me down. However, just as I got comfortable, the plane suddenly stopped as if the captain had stepped violently on the break. My whole body flew forward except the seatbelt holding my waist back. The resistance was too strong that the captain let go of the break. The plane went full speed forward. The captain stepped on the break again, and let go once more. He repeated it until the plane slowed down to a complete halt. No body spoke on the plane until the captain hesitantly reported that the plane needed check up for failure in the generator, and that we remain in our seats. While I translated what I heard for my dad, some passengers behind me began arguing. One man preached loudly that if God wanted to take him home, he thinks we should all follow. A woman disagreed in anger. Another man cried out that he did not want to die in plane crash. Many people, including the stewardess, tried to stop the outbreak, but were pulled into the argument. Finally, the head stewardess asked the angry and scared passengers to take the next flight. After an hour, the captain announced that the generator has been repaired and backed up. At last, our plane took off once more, and landed us safely in New York JFK airport.